I have been wondering recently how new people coming into my world thought about the amount I bang on about Joy. Joy is so often banded about that it is something that people want, some people have, and we should all want more of it in our lives. Yet, it is also depicted as pretty and fluffy and, indeed, might not be taken seriously. Indeed, Joy does not have a place in the grey business world of money, success, and strategy.

So let's get one thing straight: whilst I do think pink and fluff, and rainbows and unicorns, for that matter are joyous things, this is not the Joy or I am talking about or what Joy actually means to me.

Joy is not some relentless optimism with sprinkles on top. It’s not about slapping a smiley face sticker over a crack in the foundation and calling it a day. Joy isn’t born of a perfect world where nothing goes wrong. Real joy, the kind that lasts, the kind that can change your life, is something far deeper. It’s raw, it’s resilient, and it’s the thing that whispers “keep going” even when everything else feels too heavy.

Joy is the fire that can pull us through dark days. It’s the small, almost imperceptible spark that reminds us why we do what we do and who we want to be – even when the day looks like a stack of challenges.

Chasing Joy, Not Perfection

In a world obsessed with curated happiness, where every photo looks filtered and flawless, it’s easy to confuse joy with perfection. We see joy as something we “arrive at” or “achieve,” often by ticking off life’s big boxes: career success, stable relationships, and perfect health. But if we treat joy like a checklist item, we’ll find ourselves reaching empty, only to wonder why it all feels so hollow.

True joy isn’t about perfection. It’s about resilience. It’s knowing that life is filled with shades of grey and sometimes downright messy moments – and still being able to find that one bright spark that makes it all worth it. Joy is the breath of fresh air after a struggle, the strength to keep moving forward when it feels like everything is working against us. 

Joy as a Companion Through Darkness

Have you ever noticed that those who truly value joy are often the ones who’ve faced some of the darkest times? There’s a reason for that. It’s a little secret that might seem counterintuitive – joy is often born in our toughest moments.

Think of the last time you were genuinely, wholeheartedly grateful for something, even something small. Maybe it was a quiet moment with someone you love, a deep breath after a long, hard day, or even just a good laugh when you needed it most. Those little moments of joy are what keep us going. They’re what ground us, refuel us, and give us the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

So, if joy can be the light at the end of a tunnel, it’s a light that we carry with us. It doesn’t erase the hardships we face but sits with us through them. The people who look for joy aren’t naïve; they’re the ones who know just how dark things can get. They know, firsthand, that joy is worth chasing – that the small moments we find on our way to the other side are what make the journey worthwhile.

What It Means to “Know” Joy

When I say “know” joy, I’m not talking about being able to define it in a textbook. Knowing joy is like knowing the sound of a loved one’s voice. It’s deeply personal. It’s something we learn to recognise over time, and often after a few rounds with disappointment or struggle.

It’s a quiet cup of coffee in the morning before the day kicks into high gear. It’s a smile that catches you by surprise, a moment of gratitude for what is. Knowing joy isn’t about being happy all the time – it’s about being open to those flashes of beauty, warmth, or laughter, even in hard times. It’s about letting them fill us up and remind us what’s good, what’s possible.

Joy Is a Choice, Not a Circumstance

You might be reading this thinking, “Okay, sounds great, but how do I actually find joy when things are rough?” And that’s fair – life doesn’t hand us joy on a silver platter. It’s something we often have to actively choose, a conscious decision to look beyond the immediate and find what’s good.

Choosing joy is not about ignoring reality. It’s about acknowledging the hard stuff while still holding space for the good. It’s finding that little corner of your day where you can breathe a little easier. And yes, sometimes, joy looks like setting boundaries, cutting out the things that drain you, and protecting what feeds you. It’s not passive or passive-aggressive; it’s a powerful choice, day in and day out. 

The Real Joy-Seekers: Purpose-Driven and Brave

Let’s talk about the real joy-seekers. These are the people who actively look for the good even when it’s tough. They’re the ones who see joy as something worth cultivating, not just experiencing. It’s part of how they lead their lives, and often, it’s contagious. These are the people who know that joy isn’t just a fleeting feeling – it’s something they’ve learned to hold onto with both hands.

To these folks, joy is synonymous with purpose. They know that true fulfillment doesn’t come from a life where everything is easy but from a life where they’re willing to face the hard stuff, to create meaning out of chaos. The real joy-seekers are brave because they know the world isn’t always a kind place, and yet, they hold space for kindness, gratitude, and wonder..

Finding Joy, Your Own Way

This isn’t about following some prescription for a “joyful life.” Real joy doesn’t come in a formula. It’s an experience, a deeply individual journey. And I can tell you from experience, the only way to really find it is to start noticing it in small places, to appreciate it in moments that feel mundane or imperfect.

Look for the things that genuinely fill you up, that make you lose track of time, or that bring you peace. For some, it’s laughter and connection; for others, it’s quiet, alone time. It could be the energy of a busy café or the stillness of nature. Whatever it is, find it, savour it, and don’t let anyone tell you it’s trivial.

Chasing Joy: A Lifelong Adventure

The beauty of joy is that it’s never one-size-fits-all. It grows and evolves, right alongside us. There’s no endpoint, no finish line – and that’s what makes it worth chasing. The joy I felt as a child is different from the joy I find in my work or in my relationships today. It’s deeper, richer, and informed by all the challenges I’ve faced and lessons I’ve learned.

So here’s to the journey, to the lifelong adventure of finding joy, embracing it, and letting it change us. Here’s to choosing joy, even on the hard days, to recognizing it when it shows up, and to knowing that joy, real joy, is worth it every time.

Joy isn’t some picture-perfect postcard. It’s the heartbeat of what matters, the reminder that there’s beauty to be found even in the shadows. It’s not always loud; sometimes, it’s a quiet, subtle thing – but if you learn to seek it, to know it, you’ll find yourself living a life that’s infinitely richer, more purposeful, and just a little bit more magical.

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